“How Did You Make Your Hair Curl Like That?”

I get asked this question all the time.

Years ago, I used to spend 20–25 minutes explaining exactly how I got my curls to do what they do—only to be met with blank stares and confusion. These days, I just say “gel and water,” and while the confused looks still come, I now understand something deeper.

As Black women, we’ve got a lot of unlearning and relearning to do when it comes to our natural hair.

We have to allow ourselves to be beginners.
Take it easy.
And go one shampoo at a time.

Let’s Clear Something Up…

This might come as a surprise, but the curls you see online—on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube—aren’t created by magic products. Those beautifully defined coils, waves, and curls? They’re not the result of a miracle curl cream or the latest $40 gel.

They’re the result of hair that already has a curl pattern, paired with proper techniques, thoughtful product application, and—yes, in many cases—a good hood dryer or diffuser.

Let me say it louder for the naturals in the back:
Products don’t make curls.

The Curls Come From Your Scalp

Your hair already has a pattern. Whether it’s loose waves, tight coils, zigzags, or those crinkle-fry bends (yes, someone once told me that’s what my hair looked like), that curl pattern is yours. It’s been there all along.

What you might not realize is that you don’t have to twist, braid, or manipulate your hair into curling. You simply have to learn how to care for the curls that are already growing from your scalp.

Over the past eight years behind the chair, I’ve introduced hundreds of clients to their natural curl pattern—some of them for the very first time. Many come in thinking they don’t have curls, or that their hair is “too kinky,” “too difficult,” or “too damaged.”

But once we cleanse, condition, and define their hair?

Those curls start showing up—and showing out.

That’s what we call a Hydrate & Define, or what the internet often refers to as a “wash & go.” It’s not a product. It’s a process—one that enhances the natural curl pattern without manipulation.

Your Hair Isn’t the Problem—Misinformation Is

Most of us went natural during the YouTube boom. We were promised curl-defining this and moisturizing that. But instead of clarity, many of us were left overwhelmed.

There were 12-step routines. Curl typing debates. Oil vs. butter wars.

We were taught to chase products—not knowledge.

So we did.
We bought everything.
We spent entire Saturdays washing, deep conditioning, steaming, twisting, and hoping for a miracle.

And still, the curls didn’t pop. The routine didn’t stick. Our hair didn’t feel good.

It Was Never Just About the Product

Here’s the truth: No product can give you curls you don’t already have.

What products can do is support and enhance what’s already there—if you know how to use them.

A product without proper technique is like having ingredients without a recipe. You might have all the right stuff, but if you don’t know how to apply it, in what order, or with what intention, it won’t give you the results you want.

Curls require three key things:
Water, a product with hold, and proper technique.

That’s it.

The curl-defining process begins in the shower. You cleanse. You condition. You apply your styler (usually a gel or foam) to soaking wet hair. Then you distribute it evenly and use a mix of raking and smoothing techniques to define the curls. Finally, you set the style—under a hood dryer or with a diffuser.

That’s the “secret.”

It’s Not a Quick Fix—It’s a Practice

Caring for your natural hair isn’t something you master overnight. It’s a skill—a practice—that gets better with time, consistency, and support.

The good news? You don’t have to figure it out alone.

That’s why we created the Girl, Your Hair is Magic Mini-Guide. It’s your soft landing. Your first step. A beginner-friendly place to start understanding your natural hair without the fluff or overwhelm.

Inside, you’ll learn the basics:
✔️ How your hair behaves
✔️ Why curl typing doesn’t tell the full story
✔️ How to choose the right products
✔️ How to create a simple, sustainable routine

We also strongly encourage partnering with a professional stylist. This guide is an excellent first step—but nothing compares to the in-person expertise of someone who’s trained to work with tight curls. If you’re feeling stuck or unsure, a knowledgeable stylist can help you meet (and exceed) your hair goals.

So, How Did I Get My Hair to Curl Like That?

I didn’t make my curls.

I learned them—so I could care for them, set them, and style them with intention.

Like so many of us, I didn’t grow up knowing what my natural hair could really do.
I had to learn how to meet my curls, not fight them.

And you can learn too.

You don’t have to force your hair to be something it’s not. With the right approach, proper technique, and consistency, you’ll start seeing what your hair’s been trying to show you all along.

So the next time someone asks,
“How did you get your hair to curl like that?”

You’ll know exactly what to say…and you can also send them this blog post to help get them started.

✨ Ready to discover the basics, define your curls, and stop guessing your way through wash day? Click here to get the Girl, Your Hair is Magic Mini-Guide and start your journey with clarity and confidence.